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Adventures In Grieving: The Funeral Home
Mar. 6th, 2008 08:56 pmI figure I'm going to put the more 'entertaining' moments in my LJ.
Starting with the funeral home.
As per my last post, we basically had to go though the funeral home because of those silly 'health' laws and stuff. So we get charged $1500 to toss what's left of my mom (after the organ banks take their pound of flesh) into a cardboard box with a plywood bottom and put into and extremely high oven for 10-15 minutes.
Feh.
While my mother did quite a bit of planning (Note: Planning is good. It may feel a bit morbid, but pre-planning is one of the best things you can do for the people you've left behind. [/soapbox]), but the final disposal of her ashes was kinda up in the air. She changed her mind a lot on that.
My brother offered, "Well, she wanted to be put in a rose bed."
I offered, "I thought she wanted to be spread out over all 23 counties in Wyoming."
The Bad Sister said, "Well, a couple of weeks ago, she mentioned that she wanted her ashes spread over Brad Pitt."
"Hmmm," I said. "Well, Angelina is a crazy freak. If we ask her, I bet she'd help us out. Probably make her all hot and bothered."
The look on the funeral director's face was truly priceless.
Also, another memory. One of my mother's doctors was named Higginbottom. And, according to her, he has a truly world class ass. My mom was always a sucker for a firm ass. So, I know when she went under for (what would be her last) time, she had at least one good thought.
I don't know if the other things are going to be as funny as this one - Right now, all the Fantastic Family Drama is happening. As well as some 'fun' financial stuff.
But if has any entertainment value, you can be sure I'll post it here.
-DH
Starting with the funeral home.
As per my last post, we basically had to go though the funeral home because of those silly 'health' laws and stuff. So we get charged $1500 to toss what's left of my mom (after the organ banks take their pound of flesh) into a cardboard box with a plywood bottom and put into and extremely high oven for 10-15 minutes.
Feh.
While my mother did quite a bit of planning (Note: Planning is good. It may feel a bit morbid, but pre-planning is one of the best things you can do for the people you've left behind. [/soapbox]), but the final disposal of her ashes was kinda up in the air. She changed her mind a lot on that.
My brother offered, "Well, she wanted to be put in a rose bed."
I offered, "I thought she wanted to be spread out over all 23 counties in Wyoming."
The Bad Sister said, "Well, a couple of weeks ago, she mentioned that she wanted her ashes spread over Brad Pitt."
"Hmmm," I said. "Well, Angelina is a crazy freak. If we ask her, I bet she'd help us out. Probably make her all hot and bothered."
The look on the funeral director's face was truly priceless.
Also, another memory. One of my mother's doctors was named Higginbottom. And, according to her, he has a truly world class ass. My mom was always a sucker for a firm ass. So, I know when she went under for (what would be her last) time, she had at least one good thought.
I don't know if the other things are going to be as funny as this one - Right now, all the Fantastic Family Drama is happening. As well as some 'fun' financial stuff.
But if has any entertainment value, you can be sure I'll post it here.
-DH
