Part I: Some things are worth a slow suicide...

Last night, Roomie and I were at a local bar called Pifler's to get our mad trivia skillz on. As usual, we ordered some munchies.

There isn't a lot of stuff here on the menu that can even be vauguely usable with my new dietary requirements. But I like the environment, and they have Buzztime. Last week, I was kinda good and just stuck to the pulled pork sandwich (yeah, I know it's not *good*, but the salads on the menu kinda scare me.)

Last night, after an annoying day at work, I said screw it...

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to... The Fatty Melt.


ClickPic for embiggen

That's a Patty Melt. However, instead of using just boring old bread, they raised the bar (and fat content). On each side of the hamburger/onion/cheese middle, lies an entire grilled cheese sandwich.

And, sadly, the sum of the whole wasn't as tasty as the parts. But, hey, novelty.

I won't be doing that again. I guess I'll have to look at the salads next time.

-DH

Part II: Grab a s'more! It's Unka Boo E-mail Time!!

Folks,

First off, don’t panic. I intentionally sent this to ‘All Staff’. Please scroll down to the part that deals with your appropriate needs.

EMPLOYEES:

There seems to be some confusion of what exactly needs to be placed as an issue in the Helpdesk system, and what doesn’t.

It’s actually quite simple. In nearly all cases, unless the question or issue can be solved completely to the satisfaction everyone involved with a single paragraph (spoken or e-mail)at that exact moment in time, you should most probably put in a Helpdesk issue.

Also, any emergency that directly relates to the structure, basic functioning , or security of the building or it’s human contents will not need a ticket right away, but we may ask you to put in a ticket when the emergency is less so.

Examples of things to NOT use the Helpdesk system follow:

“When does FedEx usually pick-up?”
“I have a personal package to ship with all the paperwork ready to go. Where do you want it?”
“Did you get the Helpdesk Issue I sent in, yet?”
“Apparently, my coworker lied to his boss, and his pants ignited. Can you please assist?”
“There is a hole in the roof above Legal. I didn’t realize that Boeing made buildings. You should look into this.”
“{VP-Communications}'s car had some irradiated parts installed, and now it’s attacking the building. Should we summon Godzilla?”

As with all things, the severity of the issue is also key. If a toilet is plugged, that gets a ticket. If the toilet is backflushing, getting ‘substances’ all over the floor, that’s an emergency. If the toilet is rocketing ‘used food’ all over the ceiling while an ethereal voice is chanting in ancient Malay, we’ll get an exorcist.

And I will answer a couple common questions right now – “No, no one else put in a ticket for {whatever issue this is}.” and “I didn’t realize that {whatever issue this is} has been happening for {a silly period of time, usually numbered in weeks or months}”. While I personally have sublet my soul to entities on both sides of the morality line, I was never granted psychic powers as part of the deal. I would so much rather have ten issues for the same problem than to have to hear, “That’s been going on for a while.” a couple of weeks too late.

Yes, I’ll be the first to admit it – The ticket system is a pain in the posterior. However, it is the best one-stop-shop we have for facilities issues. If one of us are out for any reason, someone else can assist you, and you only need to file one issue. In addition, it helps us keep track of what we’re doing, and allows us as a department to not lose things as easily in the shuffle.

It also lets you track what we’re doing with an issue without having to find us. That’s pretty cool.

I understand that it may not always seem that way (especially when you’re dealing directly with me), but we’re here to help. Using the Helpdesk system helps you help us, and all that helpfulness will spread out all over the world. And wouldn’t that be fantastic?

VISITORS/NON-EMPLOYEES:

Yes, we understand that you don’t have access to the Helpdesk system, but we also understand that you also have various sensory capacities that are just as valuable to us as the employees. We want your input as well.

If you notice any issue, please just drop an e-mail to {generic e-mail that goes to entire department} and we can put it in the system.

ALL TOGETHER NOW:

Thank you for your patience, and I welcome any questions. Questions taste good with ketchup with just a dash of mirin.

-DH